Leavings

I missed you last week, lovely readers of mine.  There’s really no excuse for my neglect, other than I just didn’t take the time to snap a few photos.  And here I am today, without some novel place, no explorations of my new home, but more photos of my lake.  I hope you don’t mind too terribly, because I love my lake, and I love the changing light that autumn brings.

This beautiful lake is one of the things I am giving up, slowly, as I settle into life in DeLand.  With my family still mostly in Gainesville, it will be a while before I give it up entirely.  And I am a little sad about giving it up, but other than the lake and my little mojito garden, Gainesville has never felt like home.  I’m not sure DeLand does, either.  Some days, I think I could live there forever, others, it just makes me sad.  But the realization I had the other week, and that I shared here, that I could live forever on one of the Volusia County beaches, has given me a feeling of relief.  I don’t feel as if I am constantly searching for something to make me feel at home.

Still, I have ties to Gainesville that I hate leaving behind.  The lake, my banana tree, my kids in their last year of childhood.  As I write, my darling daughter is filling out forms to go away to college.  Far away, she hopes, to New York.  Although maybe she’ll stay right here, as the boys plan to.  Only MJ is staying with me a few more years while she’s in high school.

So bear with my nostalgia, my repetition of themes, while I let go of what I had to move on toward what I want.

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2 thoughts on “Leavings

  1. The images of the reflections catch your reflective mood. Do you find that, whatever beauty surrounds you, it is the people you are near that make you feel at home? With family flying from the nest, there is the desire to be wherever they are – in my case, Auckland, New Zealand; Portland, Oregon, USA; and London, England. Then I plant my spring vegetables and realise with each passing year I am putting down deeper and deeper roots here in Hamilton, New Zealand. Skype and blogs provide connections that are not as good as hugs, but still providing treasured moments in time.

    • Obviously I am not checking my blog often enough lately!
      Yes, the people do play a large part in feeling at home, but there’s something else to it that I can’t quite explain.

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